Healing Church Hurt…

For my birthday I love to do the same thing. You may be wondering what I’m talking about. When I explain it to you, you will be able to relate also. Although, you may celebrate differently than I do. But sooner or later every birthday either begins or ends in the same manner. FOOD! That’s right F-O-O-D, I love me some F-O-O-D perhaps a little too much especially on my birthday. Nothing like going to your favorite restaurant, to celebrate your birthday. You order your food, and the food comes out. Exactly like the first time that made you fall in love with it. Every year, my wife takes me to my favorite restaurant. Or we go to a new place, that resembles my favorite restaurant to eat my favorite type of meal. I will keep the restaurants disclosed, don’t worry I’ll share the meal. Spell it with me S-T-E-A-K! Nothing like a big ol juicy steak. With all the fixings, shrimp preferably on the side. And please don’t forget the sides butter bread, mash potatoes and gravy, with the veggies please. I’m hungry writing this blog.

I remember one year, we did our usual family birthday dinner at a top-tier restaurant. This restaurant we have been to before, I knew it was going to be good. Have you ever looked up the restaurant, you were planning to eat at and picked out your meal before you got there. This was one of those types of restaurants. We arrived on time and were seated by the hostess. When I eat at a really nice restaurant, I look for all the good meal type of vibes, shiny silverware, extravagant drapes, a scenery to die for, and Boujee people. Check, check and check. By this time I’m grinning ear to ear, I place my order while secretly reminiscing about the pictures I took last year. Of the same meal I just ordered. I'm eagerly waiting for this perfect, hot steamy steak with melted butter sliding down the side. Suddenly, the waitress appears as I'm overindulging on appetizers. To my surprise, when my food hit the table the meal didn't have the sizzle and pop. Of the one, I ate last year. Nor did it taste or look like anything I remembered. I was happy my wife took me, but disappointed at the presentation and flavor of my food. Since my first experience outweighed that bad experience. The following year, we revisit the same restaurant for my birthday celebration. I ordered the same thing, as usual, this time the food sizzled and popped. And it tasted like the very first time I ordered it. I thought to myself maybe the chef had a bad day last year. Because this year the food is on point.

In some aspects, the church can be the same way. Not living up to the expectations that it once presented itself. From the pulpit to the pew, someone in some way left a bad taste in your mouth similar to my restaurant experience. Sometimes the church can be a bad chef. I experienced this firsthand, I have served leaders. Desiring they would share some sort of godly wisdom and speak into my life. Consequently, this rarely happened. I wanted leaders to take me under their wings, and show me how to be an effective minister. I tell you the amount of furniture I have moved, homes I have cleaned and errands have run hoping for a nugget of truth. Subsequently, I didn't learn anything and felt used, mistreated, and not good enough to mentor. For year's, I was hurt and carried this burden everyday. Sharing my frustration with my wife, she noticed something within me that I didn't realize was within myself. I had turned bitter toward church leaders and myself. I was consumed with bitterness. One of the hardest things I had to do was self-examination. I went to God, and asked him to reveal all of the bitterness in my heart. I carried towards those whom I felt mistreated me. After the Lord revealed those people to me, I released them. By asking the Holy Spirit to uproot the hurt out of my heart. Amazingly the Holy Spirit did just that, I remember feeling so free and light hearted. But, it wasn’t over yet. The Lord asked me to do something that I was afraid to do. He asked me to call those leaders and forgive them. I battled this for sometime, and with tears in my eyes. I wrote down all the names he had revealed, and one by one I called them. There were at least 5 names. Shockingly the conversations went well. After I hung up the phone with the last person. I felt a change in my heart, sensed the presence of the Lord. It was almost like God was waiting for me to release them. Because his love filled every area of hurt, that was inside my heart that I allowed to turn into bitterness.

If you can give a restaurant a second chance. Why not give God and the church a second chance. I get it there was some sour apples that misrepresented the Lord. A wise man once told me, wherever there are people sin is close. In biblical terms that means we all fall short of the glory of God. From the pulpit to the pew we all fall short, and has fallen short. Nevertheless, do not let a bad experience rob you from a relationship with God. Nor let it rob you from fellowshiping with God's people. You are stronger when you surround yourself, with people who share the same faith as you. Especially when times get tough. God cares about your experiences, including the bad ones. Not only in church but in life. God wants to uproot the hurt, the bitterness, the disappointments out of your heart. However, God will only heal what you reveal. God will not heal what you conceal. He wants you to reveal pain to him so that he can replace your hurt with his love. If you are reading this, and God places a church or someone in your heart. That either mistreated you or misrepresented God wrong to you. Can I encourage you to take to the Lord in prayer? God may not tell you to call those individuals like he told me. If he does I urge you to be obedient. Obedience leads you closer to the healing process. Ask the Lord in secret, who are those people you need to forgive? Which church caused you the most damage? I pray for your courage, I pray that you are courageous and vulnerable enough. To release those people and churches that hurt you. So that you can get the bitterness out of your heart, and pursue God like you once did.

Let’s do some root work, to release bitterness and hurt from your life. Here is a example to follow:

1. Ask God who are the people. You need to release. And write those names down.

2. Try to pinpoint the offense you have toward that church or individual.

3. Say “Jesus I release and forgive, “____” from the hurt that I took offense to when they “say the thing, you took offense to that they did. Say whatever you wrote in question (2)”. Lord please take this offense, hurt, anger, and bitterness out of my heart, and replace it with your love, peace, and Holy Spirit. Amen”

Give the Lord your frustration I assure you he can take it. Thank you for reading my blog. I pray you received the breakthrough you deserve. Please sure, maybe this blog can help someone else similar to how it helped you.

God Bless you!